The list of things I’m ‘best at’ when measured against my Resch Strategies coworkers is embarrassingly short and peppered with distinctions no one would proudly claim. Running through the categories in my head, here’s what I’ve come up with:
PR-related skills and talents?
Moving right along.
Non-work related skills, talents and attributes?
Oh! I am far away the most snarky member of the team. That’s one thing. And there’s also a big #1 next to my name when it comes to impatience. That’s TWO things!
That’s it. That’s essentially the list. Number one in snark and impatience. Cool.
There is one more area I shine though. It’s not much, but given its company on this list, I think it’s safe to say it’s the only designation I can proudly proclaim.
I, Joseph Robert Becsey, am the best at breakfast.
And it’s not even close.
My weapon of choice: oatmeal.
And in the spirit of New Year’s, I’m going to contribute to the half-hearted effort to improve collective habits by letting you all in on my proprietary recipe. Now everyone can start the day off right!
I’m probably going to alarm a few of you right off the bat, so let’s just get this out of the way now. My oatmeal is cold. I eat it just like a regular bowl of cereal. Why? Because it’s easier, faster, and tastier. Moving on.
Step 1: The oatmeal
I go with steel-cut oats. 1/3 of a cup. This is the only thing I measure.
I don’t like mush and these little groats maintain just enough texture after soaking in some liquid for a few minutes. Added benefit: they’re less processed than the oats of the rolled/instant variety. Health!
Step 2: The fixin’s
The key to good oatmeal is recognizing that oatmeal isn’t good at all. There’s nothing to like about it. So to make it palatable you need to disguise it with a bunch of better tasting stuff. Oatmeal is really just the glue that holds the rest of it together. Here’s what I add to mine:
- Slivered almonds. Sometimes I’ll go with pecans or walnuts but almonds are definitely the default choice. They provide a nice crunch and they’re chock-full of vitamins, mineral and healthy fats.
- Chia Seeds. The perfect addition. They’re high in protein and rich in omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants and a whole long list of other good things. The best part: you barely notice them.
- Pumpkin Seeds. Just like the stuff listed above, these things are packed with good stuff. It’s the nuts and seeds that keep me full, so I don’t skimp on any of these.
- Goji Berries. Essentially just a fancy raisin that costs 10 times more than the original. So why do I use them? I’m a sucker for the “superfood” moniker goji berries carry. Raisins are a perfectly acceptable substitute for the proletariat though.
- Cacao nibs. Chocolate’s cranky dad. I’m not going to sugarcoat it (PUN!), cacao nibs just aren’t as tasty as the chocolate they often become. Chocolate is delicious. There’s no denying it. Still, there’s no place for that stuff it in Joe’s oatmeal, so I stick with the cacao nibs - the source of all the amazing health benefits of chocolate with none of the yeah, buts.
- Fried apples. This one is optional. To change things up every now and then, I’ll slice up an apple and quickly fry it in some olive oil before dumping it into the bowl.
There’s basically no measuring with any of these add-ons. Just dump, scoop, pour as you see you fit.
Step 3: The liquid
This stuff would take 6 hours to chew if you skipped on soaking it in something first. I go with some nut-based milk like almond or cashew. I use just enough to get everything wet and easy to stir.
Step 4: The spices
For some added punch, I liberally sprinkle this mess with some cinnamon and cardamom.
Step 5: The wait
This stuff is best when you can make it the night before and pull it right out of the fridge the next morning. But I’m lazy, so that almost never happens. Soaking it for 10 minutes is plenty sufficient though. I usually throw it together and then move on to making coffee or tea. Once that’s done, it’s ready to go.
And there it is. Joe’s oatmeal. Guaranteed to leave you full of vim and vigor (and also oatmeal). Give it a try.