American Football is Boring

I know. I'm about to lose half our clients. That's okay. This is a hill I'm willing to die on. Because I'm terrible at faking that I like something and American Football is boring.

It somehow combines the worst parts of rugby and soccer, removes most of the flow, adds a committee meeting between every meaningful moment, and then asks us to pretend this is the greatest sporting event on Earth.

Rugby has contact, chaos, and grit. Soccer has movement, tension, and rhythm. American football looked at both and said, "What if we made this slower... and added more rules?"

It's not that I hate sports. I love sports. I enjoy soccer, hockey, tennis - I even enjoy golf.

Golf.

The sport where people whisper and everyone dresses like they own a timeshare.

Yet somehow, I'd still rather watch four hours of golf than three hours of NFL football. At least golf understands what it is. Football keeps insisting it's thrilling while constantly stopping to reset, regroup, and explain what just happened.

It's Basically Three Hours of Meetings

Every football fan tells me it's exciting. Then I turn on a game.

Five seconds of action. Commercial. Players standing around. Commercial. Coach talking. Commercial. Replay. Commercial. Someone measures the ball with chains. Commercial.

It's less of a sporting event and more of a corporate retreat with occasional tackling.

Maybe this is just how my brain works, but I can't stand unnecessary filler. If you're telling a story, tell the story. If you're making a point, make it.

That's exactly how football feels to me. A five-second play somehow becomes eight minutes of analysis, replays, and commentators explaining what I just watched.

I know. I saw it. Can we please move on?

Sometimes the most exciting thing you can do is simply keep going.

It's Not the Complexity

Football fans love to say, "You just don't understand the strategy."

I do. I spend my days solving complex marketing problems. Strategy isn't the issue. Pacing is.

Chess is strategic too, but I don't particularly want to watch a three-hour televised chess match either.

Soccer Gets It

The World Cup is the perfect example of getting it right.

Even people who ignore soccer the other three years and eleven months suddenly become obsessed every four years.

Why? Because it's fun to watch.

The game moves. The clock keeps running. The tension builds naturally. There aren't constant stoppages or endless discussions. It just flows.

People complain that soccer can end 1–0. I think that's exactly why every possession matters.

Somehow, a 90-minute match flies by faster than the first quarter of an NFL game.

Maybe I'm Missing Something...

Maybe you love the strategy. Maybe you love the statistics. Maybe football is just an excuse to spend Sunday afternoon with friends. Honestly, I get that.

And if we're talking about the Super Bowl, I'm with you. I love the commercials, the halftime show, and the snacks.

The football is just what happens between the commercials.

Every year someone tells me, "Once you really understand football, you'll love it." I understand it. I still don't enjoy watching it. And that's okay. Not every sport has to be for everybody.

If I'm going to spend three hours watching elite athletes do incredible things, I'd just like them to spend more than about eleven minutes actually playing.

Apparently that's a controversial opinion.

The Marketing Lesson

This probably sounds like a sports rant.

It isn't.

Because businesses make this mistake every day.

Your website makes visitors click six times before they can contact you. Your checkout process has twelve unnecessary steps. Your emails spend five paragraphs warming up before making a point. Your social videos take twenty seconds before telling viewers why they should care.

Too many businesses add friction simply because they think they're supposed to. More words. More pages. More clicks. More explanations.

None of it adds value.

The best marketing respects people's time. It gets to the point, builds momentum, and keeps moving.

The best marketing feels like a great World Cup match: smooth, continuous, and always moving forward.

No unnecessary stops. No making people wait for the interesting part.

Whether you're building a website, writing copy, or designing a customer experience, momentum wins.

And if your marketing feels more like an NFL broadcast than a World Cup match, don't be surprised when your customers change the channel before you ever reach the end zone.