Let’s Rethink How We Celebrate Mother’s Day
As a mom, I’ve started to realize something about Mother’s Day: Most of it isn’t actually designed for moms.
Somewhere along the way, the holiday became less about giving moms a break and more about creating a full day of family activities that moms are expected to happily participate in — no matter how exhausting, inconvenient, or honestly unappealing they might be. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Every year, Mother’s Day is supposed to be about “celebrating mom,” but for many of us, it still ends up looking a lot like regular motherhood — just with flowers and brunch reservations added in.
AI-generated “photo” of me and my children because there aren’t any since I’m the one who always takes the photos.
We still wake up early because the kids wake up early. We still manage emotions, settle arguments, coordinate schedules, pack snacks, answer questions, and absorb everyone else’s needs all day long. Then we’re expected to smile through crowded restaurants, long waits, overstimulating outings, and activities we may not have chosen ourselves.
Meanwhile everyone keeps saying, “We’re doing this for you!” But are they? Because if I’m being completely honest, what I often want most for Mother’s Day is freedom from obligation. Not a packed itinerary. Not a loud brunch. Not a mandatory family outing. Not a day spent pretending everyone is having a magical time while I quietly carry the stress of keeping it all together. Sometimes I just need silence.
For once, I want to sit alone without someone asking me for something every five minutes. I want to read my book, take a nap without guilt. I want one day where nobody needs me to make decisions, manage moods, or create memories.
And I think a lot of moms feel this way but hesitate to say it out loud because motherhood comes with this expectation that we should cherish every moment — especially on Mother’s Day. But wanting rest doesn’t make us ungrateful. Wanting space doesn’t make us bad moms. Wanting a break from constant responsibility doesn’t mean we love our families any less.
It just means we’re TIRED. The irony is that Mother’s Day often becomes centered around what everyone else thinks moms should want instead of asking moms what would actually make them feel appreciated.
For some moms, that truly is brunch and family time. And that’s wonderful for them. But for me and so many like me? The dream is takeout, sweatpants, uninterrupted sleep, and several hours where no one says “Mom” at all.
Honestly, the greatest Mother’s Day gift I can imagine is no pressure, no expectations, no emotional labor and no obligation to make the day enjoyable for everyone else.
Just the freedom to exist as a person for a little while instead of being needed every second of the day. So shoutout to all the Mom’s out there. The household manager, the organizer of all the things, the ones who get it all done. You are amazing and deserve appreciation every day!
And to all those celebrating their mom’s or spouses, maybe actually ask them what would make them feel special and/or rested this Mother’s Day.
PS- I would be remiss if I didn’t give a shoutout to my amazing Mom. She always made parenting look effortless and she never seemed overwhelmed, exhausted or annoyed, though obviously she was. I wouldn’t be the Mom, or the person I am today without her. Love you Mom!